he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
