you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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