she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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