can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
