Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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