I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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