Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
pray to the hookup gods
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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