I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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