im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
