You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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