If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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