why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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