I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
