4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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