I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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