oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
