Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
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