Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
