are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
