I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
