i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
