Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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