Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
