why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
