Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
