ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
