I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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