I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
