I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
