She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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