Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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