You're my little dorito
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
