From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
