He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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