He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
