I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
