If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
