i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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