I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
