well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
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