Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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