the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize