I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
