I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
