Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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