We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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