you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
