Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
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