Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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