he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize