I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
