I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
