That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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