Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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