goodnight i made you a song goodbye
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize