You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
