You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
