I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
