im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dicks are not precious.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
