I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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