grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
